bath time for Inu Yasha
by Dad
Summary: Inu Yasha takes a bath with disasterous results


Bath time for Inu Yasha  
  
"Where is that stupid girl?" Grumbles Inu Yasha. "She's taking a bath," says Miroku. "A Bath? She just took one last week, I swear, she's either washing or fainting. You can never count on her." Just then, Kagome walks into camp. As she brushes her hair, she notices Inu Yasha's look. He seems annoyed. "What's your problem?" says Kagome. "You bathe too much. You don't see me bathing every week. You're just stalling so you don't have to help find jewel shards." "Look, just because you want to stink doesn't mean we all do." "STINK, WHO STINKS? Shippou, do you think I stink?" He turns to find Shippou, but he's up a tree. He yells, "I refuse to answer on the grounds that you might pound me!" Inu Yasha turns to Miroku, "Do you think I stink?" "Why do you think I walk up wind?" Inu Yasha looks shocked. He lifts his arm and sniffs, "HOLY COW, WHY DIDN'T SOME ONE TELL ME?" Everyone gives Inu Yasha a tired look. He looks around, "I guess I could use a bath." "We'd appreciate it!" Kagome, Miroku, and Shippou say in unison.  
  
Inu Yasha walks through the woods to the pond where Kagome washed. After removing his clothes, he walks into the water. "HOLY GEEZ, IT'S FREEZING!" Shivers Inu Yasha. As he gets used to the water, he spots Kagome's backpack sitting on the bank. He looks through the array of shampoos, conditioners, perfumed soaps, and other bottles. He opens the caps on each and sniffs the contents, "Phew, how can she wear this junk?" Then he comes to a pink squeeze bottle with a flip top. "Hey, this doesn't smell too bad." He holds the bottle over his head and squeezes out the entire contents. He holds up the bottle and reads, "Nair, strange name." He works the stuff into lather and then starts to work the lather down the rest of his body. After about ten minutes, he dives under the water to rinse. He walks out of the water and grabs a towel to dry.  
  
"What was that? My god, it sounded like someone was feeding a demon through a pasta maker!" says Kagome. Just then Inu Yasha bursts through the brush screaming. It's soon evident why he's screaming, "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR HAIR?" Yells everyone. "I don't know! I used one of your shampoos and when I rinsed off, my hair fell out!" Kagome thinks for a minute. "What was the name of this shampoo?" "Nair, Why?" Kagome giggles, "That's not shampoo, it's hair remover! Didn't you read the bottle?" "Yeah, I mean no, well, sort of. I read the name." Miroku and Shippou join Kagome in snickering. Meanwhile, Inu Yasha is turning red, "WHAT'S SO FUNNY!" That did it; the three fell over and rolled around on the ground squealing with laughter. Once again, Inu Yasha yells, "WHAT'S SO FUNNY?" Kagome quiets down enough to speak, "If you're stupid enough to use hair remover for shampoo, you deserve what you get!" Miroku and Shippou slowly stop laughing, " Yeah," says Shippou. "Look on the bright side, without hair you can't get fleas!" With that, the three roll with laughter, again.  
  
After a few minutes, the three regain their composure. "We're sorry, Inu Yasha." Says Kagome. "It's just that you look so weird without hair." She walks toward him, then stops. "Wait a minute, you washed your eyebrows, too? What did you do, bathe in the stuff?" Inu Yasha hangs his head. Kagome giggles again, "So, you don't have hair, anywhere?" "OK, ALRIGHT! I'M TOTALLY BALD HEAD TO TOE! ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?" "Maybe not happy," says Shippou. "But it did put us in a better mood. Snicker, snicker." "If you guys can stop laughing long enough, we have jewel shards to find." "You can't go out like that," says Kagome. "Your head will get sunburned." "Here," says Miroku. He tears off a piece of his robe and ties it around Inu Yasha's head. "There, what do you think, the pirate look?" "More like the lobotomy patient look. The well isn't too far away; I'll go ask my mom if you can borrow one of her wigs. Wait til she hears what happened!" "Don't you dare tell anyone about this!" Growls Inu Yasha. "OK ,OK! I'll just say it's a friend. Back in a while!"  
  
A short time later, Kagome bursts through the door of her house. "Mom, can I borrow one of your wigs?" "What for?" "Well, I have this friend.." "Is this friend a half-demon with cute ears?" "Not really," says Kagome nodding her head. "Well, this friend took a bath and shampooed his whole body in Nair!" The two of them giggle. "So, that means he's bald everywhere?" "How would I know?" Blushes Kagome. "OK, the wigs are in my closet in a grocery bag. Just throw away the ones you don't use." "OK, thanks, mom." Kagome runs to her mom's bedroom and finds the bag of wigs. "Bye, mom!" She yells as she runs out.  
  
Meanwhile, Inu Yasha's pacing back and forth, "I swear, I spend half my time protecting Kagome and the other half waiting for her!" "Calm down, she'll be back any time." Says Miroku. "Yeah," says Shippou. "And until she gets back, please stay in the shade." "That's nice, you're worried about Inu Yasha getting sunburned?" "No, the glare's killing me, BWAAAHAAHAAA!" Inu Yasha grabs Shippou by the tail, "One more word from you and I'll pull you tail out through your ear!" "Put Shippou down, Inu Yasha," shouts Kagome. "Oh, you're back. What did you do, stop and have lunch?" "Mom says, 'hello'." Kagome puts the bag down and starts to pull out wigs. "This one mom wore to my Halloween party!" "I don't know," says Inu Yasha as he tries it on. "What do you think?" "I've seen uglier geishas in my time," says Miroku. "But not many." Inu Yasha throws the wig at Miroku. "How about this one?" He tries it on. "I think red hair clashes with your robe," says Shippou. "Besides, one redhead is enough." "OK, how about this one. Mom wore this one to the masquerade ball, it's called 'a Dolly Parton wig'." "How do I look?" Miroku and Shippou look at each other. "It kind of looks like your hair, only taller!" says Shippou. "It does, kinda," says Miroku. "Who is this 'Dolly Parton,." "Well, she's an American country and western singer. Mom dressed up like her for the annual masquerade ball. She wore the wig, a skin-tight dress and padded her bra out to here." Says Kagome holding her hands way out in front. "Hmm," says Miroku. "I wonder if she's in need of spiritual enlightenment?" "WILL YOU GET OVER YOURSELF!" Shouts Inu Yasha. "We have jewel shards to find!" "Just one more thing," says Kagome. She digs through her purse. "Oh no, no makeup!" "It's not makeup, it's just some eyebrow pencil. You look like a freak." "OK, just hurry up!" As she's applying the makeup, a voice from the bushes yells, "MASTER INU YASHA, I HAVE NEWS!"  
  
Myoga hops from the bushes and onto his shoulder. "Master Inu Yasha, I- what happened to your hair?!" Inu Yasha takes Myoga between his thumb and forefinger. "Why, do you have a comment?" He squishes Myoga and lets him go. After he recovers, Myoga says, "Is that any way to treat someone with news of where some jewel fragments may be found?" "Jewel shards? Where?" "In a cave not far from here lives the snake demon 'Kataka'. He has two jewel shards. He keeps them embedded in his fangs so his poison is more potent." "OK, Myoga, You lead the way." "How about if I point and you lead?"  
  
After walking for a few hours, the group arrives at the cave of Kataka. "He's in there, alright." Says Inu Yasha. "I can smell fresh blood. He's had dinner, recently." He enters the cave. "AH, the famous 'Inu Yasha'." Hisses Kataka. "No doubt here to collect my jewel shards. Let's see if you're as fast as I've heard. For if you're not, you'll make a fine snack." "Are you gonna talk me to death?" says Inu Yasha as he unsheathes Tetsiga. Kataka lunges at Inu Yasha and misses him by inches. He then brings Tetsiga down and slashes Kataka's side. "Not bad, but you can't avoid me forever." Hisses Kataka. Inu Yasha dodges another lunge, but he slips on the cave moss and falls. Then something unexpected happens, his wig falls off. Inu Yasha jumps to his feet. Kataka turns for another lunge and sees Inu Yasha. "WHA-HOLY COW! BWAAAHAAAAHAAA!" Kataka falls on the cave floor rolling with laughter. "ARE WE GONNA FIGHT OR NOT? COME ON, WILL YOU GET SERIOUS? Oh, brother!" sighs Inu Yasha. He walks up to the snake demon, who's laughing too hard to fight back, and pulls the jewel shards from his teeth. Inu Yasha shuffles out of the cave looking rather ticked. "What happened?" asks Kagome. "And where's your wig?" "It's in the cave with 'chuckles'. Come on, let's get out of here." "Wait a minute," says Shippou. He jumps on Inu Yasha's shoulders and rubs his head. "CUT IT OUT!" Shouts Inu Yasha as he tries to knock Shippou off. "Inu Yasha, your hair's growing back! Feel!"  
  
Sure enough, Inu yasha's hair had started to grow back. There was about one inch of hair on the top of his head and it was still growing. By nightfall, Inu Yasha's hair was down to his shoulders. "Well, Inu Yasha," says Kagome. "It looks like your hair should be back to normal in a few days. I hope you learned your lesson." "I sure did," says Inu Yasha. "That's the last bath in ever gonna take!" 


End file.
